Comments:

andy - 2009-02-20 01:37:35
That was a really great entry, Jeff. Yeah, watch out for that Xanax, or any other benzodiazepine (the category of drugs to which it belongs, which includes valium, klonopin, ativan, and others.) They are all potentially very addictive. About the difference between "choices" and "symptoms," this is something that has come up a lot whenever I've tried to undergo counseling or therapy. There are those who think everything is a choice, and the whole "symptom" thing is a moral cop-out. (R.D. Laing, Thomas Saltz, and the entire "anti-psych" movement, not to mention a large fundamentalist Christian contingent.) But on the other extreme, there are those in the mental health profession who treat everything as though it were a symptom of a condition. Neither seems right to me. For me, I think it is gradually coming down to my believing that my choices are greatly influenced by the conditions I am experiencing at the time; perhaps moreso in my case than in that of the average person. And this is dangerous. I'm not sure what the solution is, except for that maybe the more important, more consequential choices need to made closer to the source of the central issue, so as to cover a lot of bases, and prevent a multitude of bad choices further on down the road. This would include choices as to catch-all responses to negative circumstances, and consistency in systems of values; both of which have been perennial problems of mine. In my case, I think I'm just too sensitive, and I think I just think too much. I can't speak for your daughter, but I know what it is like to lose a closed loved one. I'll pray she gets the treatment she needs, and is clearly pointed toward the right path.
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jamie - 2009-02-20 06:39:52
quite the full plate you've got right now - hang in there!
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catsoul - 2009-02-20 12:09:04
Thank heavens she has parents like you both. It is so hard to watch your child suffer and wait for something to actually work for them. My heart goes out to your daughter and your family. Take care. =^..^=
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Jeff - 2009-02-20 22:47:17
Thanks for the encouraging notes, y'all! And Andy, I agree with you about the "choice" thing. I believe she does make "choices," but those choices are heavily influenced by whatever is going on in her brain at the moment, and there is a "point of no return," beyond which, well...you know that mythical sign somewhere that says "Abandon hope, all ye who enter here?" LoL. I also almost typed "point of KNOW return." Heh. My favorite Kansas album...
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andy - 2009-02-28 13:26:41
Agreed, Jeff. In twelve-step programs, that "point of no return" is referred to as the "invisible line." Also, in terms that I think apply to all human beings, this is also what Romans Seven is all about. We don't *want* to do all the messed up things we find ourselves doing, and though we bear the responsibility for all the things we have done, there's a limit to how much blame we can place on ourselves exclusively for having done so. Just the fact that we do things we don't want to do means that we must be influenced by powerful factors affecting our choices. And that's only to speak in general terms: the sin nature itself is a "condition." In Stephanie's case, there are even stronger and more prevalent conditions acting to undermine her choices. This is why it is so good that you are all addressing her illness now, and assertively so, it would seem. My prayers are with you.
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